A separation is rarely a legal event. It is a personal one — and only afterwards becomes a legal one.
That is precisely the difficulty: at the very moment you would need to make the clearest decisions, you are least in a state to make them.
Our task is therefore twofold. We represent your interests — and we work out with you what actually needs to be decided, and in what order. Not everything has to be settled at once. Some things, however, should be settled very early, because otherwise facts are created that are hard to correct later.
Divorce is, as a rule, preceded by the separation year (Trennungsjahr). What matters is not the date on a document but the actual separation from bed and board — which is also possible within a shared home, provided the household is no longer run jointly. When this year began is often disputed later. It pays to record the date early.
Alongside this, three questions usually arise at the same time: Who stays in the home? What will each of you live on from now on? And what happens with the children? These three points are linked, legally and financially. Negotiate them one by one and you often negotiate yourself into a weaker position.
A marriage is dissolved once it has broken down. After a separation year this is presumed, provided both spouses want the divorce; after three years it is irrebuttable. A divorce before the separation year has elapsed is only possible in cases of hardship — and the hurdles for that are high.
On divorce, the court carries out the pension rights adjustment (Versorgungsausgleich) of its own motion: the pension entitlements acquired during the marriage are divided. This is routinely underestimated, yet for retirement provision it is often the financially most significant point of the entire proceedings — more significant than the dispute over household effects, which usually takes up more emotional space.
With maintenance, three levels must be distinguished, and they are frequently confused:
In all three cases, the determination of income decides the outcome. For the self-employed, with fluctuating pay, bonuses or benefits in kind, that is the real point of dispute — not the formula. Careful work on the figures pays off directly here.
A point that often comes too late: As a rule, maintenance is only owed from the time it was claimed. Whoever waits loses months that cannot be made up.
Joint parental custody continues after separation. It does not end automatically, nor is it automatically reallocated. An application for sole custody only has a prospect of success if it serves the child's welfare — not if it is meant to settle a conflict between the parents.
As for contact: it is not only a right of the other parent but a right of the child. Courts assume that contact is in the child's best interests unless something concrete speaks against it. Whoever wants to restrict contact bears the burden of justification — sweeping accusations are not enough.
Our experience: the longer a contact dispute lasts, the more entrenched it becomes, and the harder it is to resolve. A workable arrangement after eight weeks is almost always better than one imposed by a court after eight months.
Under the statutory matrimonial property regime of the community of accrued gains (Zugewinngemeinschaft), whatever both spouses gained during the marriage is equalised on divorce. What counts are initial and final assets — and therefore reference dates, valuations and evidence. Inheritances and gifts are in principle left out of account, but not always their increase in value.
The jointly owned property is regularly the most difficult item. Sale, takeover by one spouse, letting or a partition auction (Teilungsversteigerung) lead to very different financial outcomes — and the bank has a say. From earlier work in the real estate sector, we bring a perspective here that goes beyond the purely legal assessment.
In cases of domestic violence, threats or stalking, the Protection Against Violence Act (Gewaltschutzgesetz) applies. Allocation of the home, approach bans and contact bans can be obtained by interim order within a short time — in urgent cases without first hearing the other side.
If you are in immediate danger, call 110 first. If you believe you or your children are at risk, call us next, before you write an email.
Not every point belongs in court. A notarised agreement on the consequences of divorce (Scheidungsfolgenvereinbarung) can settle maintenance, accrued gains, pension rights adjustment and property in one go — faster, cheaper and with an outcome both have agreed to. This requires both sides to assess their position realistically. That is exactly what the initial consultation is for.
Where agreement is not possible, we conduct the proceedings with the same resolve. Willingness to settle is not an end in itself.
Fees are governed by the German Lawyers' Remuneration Act (RVG) and are based on the value of the proceedings — in divorces, essentially on the income of both parties and their assets. We calculate this for you in concrete terms in the initial consultation, before you decide.
On a low income, legal aid (Verfahrenskostenhilfe) may be available. We check with you whether the requirements are met. Legal expenses insurance rarely covers family matters — but we look at your policy before you take that for granted.
As a rule, one year. After a separation year, the marriage is presumed to have broken down if both spouses want the divorce or the other spouse consents (§ 1566 Abs. 1 BGB). After three years of separation, the marriage is irrebuttably deemed to have broken down (§ 1566 Abs. 2 BGB).
A divorce before the separation year has elapsed is only possible if continuing the marriage would amount to unreasonable hardship (§ 1565 Abs. 2 BGB). The courts interpret this narrowly.
Yes. What matters is that there is no longer a domestic community — that is, separate housekeeping, no shared finances, no shared meals as a couple (§ 1567 Abs. 1 Satz 2 BGB). It is advisable to record the start of the separation in writing, because it is often disputed later.
For the past, as a rule only from the time at which the person liable to pay was asked to provide information about their income, was put in default, or the claim became pending in court — in each case from the first day of that month (§ 1613 Abs. 1 BGB; for separation maintenance via § 1361 Abs. 4 Satz 4, § 1360a Abs. 3 BGB). Whoever waits will usually lose these months for good.
Yes. Joint parental custody continues after separation and divorce. The family court transfers sole custody only on application — if the other parent consents (and a child aged 14 or over does not object) or if the transfer best serves the child's welfare (§ 1671 Abs. 1 Satz 2 BGB). A conflict between the parents alone is not enough.
Yes. On divorce, the family court carries out the pension rights adjustment (Versorgungsausgleich) of its own motion: the pension rights acquired during the marriage from statutory, occupational and private pension provision are divided. Capital life insurance policies are not included; they are taken into account in the accrued-gains equalisation, the Zugewinnausgleich (§ 2 Abs. 2 Nr. 3 VersAusglG). Where the marriage lasted up to three years, the pension rights adjustment is only carried out on application (§ 3 Abs. 3 VersAusglG).
The spouse who files the divorce petition must be represented by a lawyer (§ 114 Abs. 1 FamFG). The other spouse can consent to the divorce without a lawyer of their own — but cannot then file applications of their own, for instance on maintenance or accrued gains.
Answers as of October 2026. They state the general statutory rule; individual cases may differ.
This text is a general overview and does not replace advice on your individual case. Which rules apply to your matter depends on circumstances that can only be clarified in a consultation.
